Parenting

Just a thought –

Freedom of speech should be the first step towards good parenting

Family Concept

In her mind, “Umpteenth number of women’s life he has cosseted. And he is talking about how parents should be vital for every child. Family should be the primeval priority for every child. “

Her ogling eyes spoke volumes.

In her thoughts-

“Did your mother tell you that in the name of family, you could annihilate other’s family?”

I appreciate this parenting. They have not failed in giving the child the needed love, education, importance of family, customs, tradition and prioritizing things for their own well being. But, they have failed to inculcate the needed human qualities within him. So chivalrously dedicated to his folks that he couldn’t see the destruction to other families caused due to his feats.

I keep conjecturing how would the woman in his mother react, when she hears or sees her son’s true colors. Will she still desire to wrap her arms around him to protect him from his sins?

His family has eternally shielded him from seeing his true self.

****

She tried to talk to her mother. It had taken long pain stricken years for her to find this guts within her. She, her mother, failed to cognize. Her parents didn’t move along with her with the changing world. She tried her best to explain. She failed as a child too.

Her mother wept, tried to protect her, loved, cared, struggled and did what not for that one flaw. But she failed to understand that this kid has gone far, really far for it to come back into her arms.

In her thoughts-

“How do I explain? I feel paralyzed with their overwhelming emotions. I have lost the freedom of speech within my family. The traumatising episodes of the family has always lurked me not to voice my problems. I didn’t want to see another bout between them. I didn’t want to see my mother weeping. I didn’t want to see my father’s weakness. I have always kept quite.”

Tears rolled down making her plight obvious.

Broken families do less damage to children than those families that are having the pieces stuck together unwillingly.

I’m in life’s most foreboding phase. I need my family. I need the feeble love of mother. But all I got to hear is how I should be happy forcefully because she wanted to be contented being a good parent. All I got to hear was how family could break into pieces.

I was forced ardently not to voice my problem.

I chose to keep quite.

Note:

Mom,

I wish you could have heard me.

Love,

Your daughter

If only both the mothers had done the basic of good parenting, the son of one would not have been the reason behind demise of the daughter of another. The girl’s family never saw the sunshine again. It was one of the many that the son wrecked.

Ariana

Exuberance

Just a thought –

Some occurrences in your journey jabs open your eyes towards the punitive veracity of the world and it’s species.

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She would be easily around 85 years. Yet she luridly remembered him. It was desolating to know that she still reminisced him as how he had chosen to show himself to her. 50 years of human life is a lot of time to hold on to something. I conjectured on the power of the miff.

That which does not kill us makes us stronger – Friedrich Nietzsche

She said this to me and I ended up looking through her. I could sense that. The agony that had the power to inoculate me. For some reason, I was keen on knowing what was it. She is one of the most intellectual women I have ever come across in life till now. Her talks and thoughts were immensely instigating. And she told me this:

I was 23 years, when I met him. When we met, I was victimized to certain life threatening ordeals. But, I never had urging thoughts of giving up on life or on myself. I’m a fighter and I strongly believed in spiritual side of mortal life. I believed in natural justice the most. She has that sparkles in her eyes, when she mentioned it. It startled me for a second.

I continued to listen to her. Our world was so picturesque. He changed my acuity towards the bitter globe. Life is never a bed of roses. I understand the presence of thorns amongst roses, but don’t understand the presence of leeches that can kill the roses. His devious comportment was the leech. Love makes you oversee the flaw in them and that is how it should be to relish a serene soul. But his deceit was so formidable that the serene soul lost its denotation. He thrust me into a dark tunnel with a vicious vigor that I’m still finding my way out of it. 50 years and counting. I have had more devastating circumstances to have gone into the tunnel I’m mentioning here. But I had chosen him as the mace to tumble down. I regret the choice.

Do you know why? She had a tear stagnated at the corner of eye still trying to decide on to touch her cheeks or not. I was stuck in the thought of how can someone emote after 50 years of its occurrence? Baffled on the idea of time heals.

I love him. No, he is not my first love. The arch of her lips spoke volumes. He was my life’s companion. I wanted to share all the days I had with him. It was wrecked. I gave in, thus I gave up.

I subsisted to be only a blank page till now. The journey of subsistence was not at all tranquil. Words can’t do justice to those emotions.

And,

He was extremely devoted to me after that act of pretense. He was devoted to not to care about me, to be heartless to me. The perpetual reminder of that promise probed a lot of me yet kept me going. “A lot of me” would need another lifetime to expound.

With inquisitiveness I asked her, “Will you forgive him?” It is said forgiving and forgetting aids in healing. In a jostle she replied, “Does it matter? If it does, then who? He is and was not sorry for his feats. If he had in anyway, he would have found a way to me. And I don’t think anything could heal those wounds that time fails to heal.”

I was standing there, looking at this woman. Eyes wide open. She was a power in herself. Human emotions are complex however cool you tend to portray them. I shook hands expressing how pleased I was to meet her and slowly walked. In my trance – this could be me after 50 years. But do I have the conviction? I’ll figure out soon.

Name: Ariyana

Place: Waterstones, Piccadilly circus, London

Time: 11:10 am

 

Note:

It is a piece of fiction. My favorite author’s note:

“Neither novels nor their readers benefit from attempts to divine whether any facts hide inside a story. Such efforts attack the very idea that made-up stories can matter, which is sort of the foundational assumption of our species.”

– John Green, Fault in our stars

Muzzled within!

Just a thought –

Allow people to walk out of your life. It gives you an opportunity to evaluate relationships and yourself.

4647693438_e3ef058cb9_bA page in “her” diary:

Love is all about tiny gestures of care. I know his care for me. I have seen it, felt it and lived it. Two years of “the unsaid” yet said relationship. Life seems a fairy tale when one is in love. But I never knew this would change into the worst phase. When things changed between us, I saw the reality of the relationship we shared. The “real him”.

The decision to choose mottled paths in life slowly injected so much pain within me that I started questioning, every act of his. It was not my decision to leave the beautiful relationship far behind. Though the reasons seemed to be very practical, I couldn’t compromise on the fact that he didn’t want to try. A spineless man could be more perilous than anyone. He was spineless. Things came to a point that “I never loved me”, “there is no use of you in my life anymore”, “when did I say that I’m in love with you”, “you can’t really do anything to me because I have decided to leave you” and so on.

A woman is always expected to be strong by this man made world. I know I’m strong. But is being strong is to keep quite to the emotional exploitation by men? I was exploited in the name of love. It was a conscious decision, as I believed in love, in him. It was such an illusion. He proved to be a perfect player. When exquisite thing like love is got without any struggle in life, you don’t tend to realize its worth. He was one of those kinds. When the girl goes beyond a tolerable level to be serious about him, he has his plans to behave and treat her in a way that she gets hurt and moves away by herself. He did exactly the same to me and he chose to run away. It is there in some people’s DNA.

How does it feel? To endure that “treatment” and “behaviour”. Not at all an easy one. The person you had loved a lot chooses to leave you behind to safeguard themselves from their guilt. In the name of family, religion, circumstances, career or whatever? A complete exit that it appears that you were never a part of his life. Not a new story in this big world. It is so common that people refuse to emote to this kind of news. They pat their lashes with this sentence “Grow up and move on”. Out of all this, the most excruciating bit was, he never bothered to alter the perception of him in me ever after that.

It is not to do with relationship it is about a lot more within me, about me. How much ever I drone about it, I can’t make people care or change. This entire experience in my life has changed me as an individual. I’m muzzled within. He took away an integral part of me. I will never be the same. Being called the emotional one, I’m the one to be blamed and I did blame myself for being blind in love.

I changed. I started existing than living and it pained so much less.

Note:

I came across a Londoner who shared the above, most personal happenings of her life. We became friends in London underground. The red flowers that I had in my hand was the reason for her to talk to me. She envied me for having such a good friend who had gifted me that. This is how our friendship started.

Her story made me wonder how many girls are out there who were subjected to such life altering experiences. I also often ponder on the thought if the person who are a reason for such a change in someone comes to know what they have done, will they be able to forgive themselves or would be callous to just go on with life like most of us do?

Soul Spree

Just a thought –

Letting someone own you leads to him or her disowning you agonisingly.

footsteps

It was that moment of transition from a corporeal body to an immortal soul. She had chose to be in the serene world rather than the cruel world. Alas, she couldn’t make it to the serene world.

She was stuck between the two worlds.

When she was mortal, she was always inquisitive about how he would react to her nonexistence? Now, she has been given a fortuitous to unwind it and her soul was also forlorn.

Akram:

“Ah! She was a stupid female. I would say she just ruined her life. Come on, who wants to die at this age. She is not worth my time. I never thought she would die for me. And I actually don’t feel anything towards this loss. Who was she to me anyway? I never loved her. I was mere verbal about it. Let me focus on the present girl.”

She was in blood shot tears. The person, for whom, she chose to leave life behind, was not pretentious by her dearth. She couldn’t live without him; she couldn’t breathe without him. His manifestation made so much of a difference to her. He owned her and her soul.

She understood esteeming a relationship is contemptible. She fathomed that letting someone own her, just ruined her. She deeply bemoaned her choice. She was left to skirmish between the two worlds without knowing a way to emancipate her soul from what she was witnessing. It was excruciatingly withering her immortal heart. She was yet again victim of destiny. Rhea would remain a troubled soul.

Poisonous Love!

Just a thought –

Sometimes, you stop and look around to witness the obliteration you have caused to the person who cared for you the most, just to realize that you can never forgive yourself for the inhumanness in you.

man

She stood there frozen. Her lemon shaped eyes, wide open with pearls of tears rolling down in a grotesquely slow haste.

He touched her. Her body was cold and soul was withered. Blood oozing out of the nerve, her petite body lay there, lifeless. He was inert with only his hands wobbling with the sheet of note left for him to ruminate for the days to come.

Past:

He said to his friend, “There she is! Oh god! I was just waiting for this minute of the day (winks).” Their eyes met for few minutes.

Jia, the nerd. She likes to be cut off from the world. She had tweaked herself to be in solitary. Arjun, the Lothario, chased her, as he wanted to vanquish her to boost his male ego. She had once proved him that she was better than him, in the most imperturbable way possible but she never knew that his ego was hurt in the whole episode. He was heroic to make her bend to him. It wasn’t hard for a charmer like him. She fell for him. For the most beautiful person she had beheld in him. She was in love with that hidden personality of his. Somewhere, at a sub-conscious level, he was falling in love with her too. But his pride never allowed him to see it. He wanted to just conquer her.

After knowing him too well for a year, Jia was recklessly in love with him. Now, he owned her and her soul. It was chaste maneuverings of emotions, a brutal act, if only she knew what was coming her way. It was that beautiful day of her life. She was unwinding the woman in her to him. Jia and Arjun made love.

Present:

In her heart wrecking thoughts, “It’s been two weeks since I heard anything from him. He is not answering my calls too. I hope he is fine.” She was completely ignored by him after the most beautiful day of her life. She didn’t loose faith. She has perseverance. After unremitting dogging away acts by him and cruel emotional traumas, she decided to confront him. She went in search of him.

Arjun, “Oh come on! When did I ever tell her that I love her or I’m going to marry her? I wanted revenge and I took it this way. Hey! Listen to the details now.” His friends, “ Hahahaha….really? You are a real stud bro!”

She stood there frozen. Her lemon shaped eyes wide open with pearls of tears rolling down in a grotesquely slow haste.

In a while, his phone rang. The world below his feet slipped away. He ran like a maniac.

He touched her. Her body was cold and soul was withered. Blood oozing out of the nerve, her petite body lay there, lifeless. He was inert with only his hands wobbling with the sheet of note left for him to ruminate for the days to come.

The note:

I knew this intension of yours long back. I chose to be canopy to it, as I believed in you and in my love for you. I couldn’t have had a more beautiful reason than this to give up on life. I’m thankful to the Lord. I would plea you to not to do this to anyone else, as I want to be the last gaffe in your life. I wish you had respected the woman in me if not the love.

I love you. I really do.

Jia

Arjun was cramped for rest of his days in the prison called “life”.