sad girl

Swirl of a wind!

I, sometimes wonder if not the twirl, will I be where I’m right now? It’s a positive or negative thought, if known, good. But I will never know till I see deep through it. The fear to see through the depth, keeps me going. Why do I get up to the dawn everyday? The same new dawn, which I, once was so obdurate of not indorsing. I have stopped questioning. Where is that creepy voice that would just not shut? Is it natural or it is all in my head?

She wondered, Am I in a better place or not? Having come so far from the pain, guilt, ruins, screams, grey, ashes and what not. She couldn’t answer the question for herself. Who would if she can’t for herself? That minute she saw the wave of an innocuous kid standing under a construction site. May be her parents work there or she works there, she speculated. That “swirl of wind” through the tiny fingers became a habit, the kid waving her and she waving back subconsciously. Aren’t relationships really uncanny and eerie? The same relationships that she was running away from, the same relationships that made her cut all ties with her inner-self too. Here again, subconsciously she edifices another one with the blood and flesh.

Some people never get it, even in the cruelest way. The wave was lost. It was not just a wave; some kind of serene push for her to go past her own built walls. Frantically, she got down from her car, asked the people working in the construction site about the kid. Brazenly, she was not able to even describe the kid. Her features, colors of the dress, her height, nothing. All that she could reminisce was she used to wear one anklet on the leg and the gush of twirl. She was again in the middle of the whirlwind within. Was it again a piece of her mind? If yes, why? She sank in her past of getting attached to extraneous people.

This could fade away one day. That one day, she might understand her need to express love. It was beyond mere a need for the soul.